5th day of Ramadhan

Alhamdulillah, so far fasting is a breeze...no gastric pains...and the weather is cool. God is great!!

However, I am facing another office hiccups...I will write that later. I want to share what I went thru last Saturday dated 16Oct first.

I got another job offer from ABDA Aviation. The office is far far away from home. Prior to that, after the first interview, I find the offer rather lucrative and the job is promising. With mak's advice, I performed the solat hajat for guidance from above. Tapi takde apa lagi..so I guess God wanted me to go ahead with it. Then on Sunday nite a lady from the HR dpmt called me up. She said she is telling me to reconsider. She said the pay is very small for a sales manager job. She said if I were to accept the offer, company will be very glad. She further told me that, it is still my choice coz working under the regional manager is good but the whole office atmosphere is not conducive....

Called mak...and told her is this a God send info I have been asking for? Mak said, abang told her that signs from Allah is not in a form of dreams alone....the lady who called me may be the signal too. But Mak said, in all fairness, go for the 2nd interview and see what the offer letter is all about. I was hesitant but I guess mak is right.

I went there early and purposely took the train to time my journey. Throughout the whole journey, I kept on thinking and asking myself...Maybe this is my dream job...then at one moment..but it is too far...then next moment...hmm I can travel to SEA..then next moment...no how about Aqim? I will miss him too much...huh....the journey felt like ages...but eventually I reached my destination.

There, I met the Regional Manager and the HR managress. We were talking about my permit and also about my salary. Nope! No salary increase coz they said my commission is already lucrative and my permit, i must wait for my passport and apply for spouse program. Technically I am offered a job but I must give my answer by 2nd Nov, latest!

Now, still pondering abt the offer....I have decided...I will not take it...Firstly, I am not going overseas often for the sake of Aqim. I want to see him grow before my eyes. Secondly, no pay increase? I am getting the same amt with HP as an agent. Thirdly, I have other plans with Noris next year and i want to make it happen. So, nope....I will turn it down...end of story....

Hmm...one case settled....next page is my grievance with a person with unacceptable character....

Memoirs

Tmrw is the first day of Ramdhan which means the Muslims will observe fasting for whole month of Ramadhan(ends on 14 Nov 2004). I remembered on Nov 2002 when I was fasting for a week, I felt so tired and listless. My appetite dipped but still I can't shed off any excess fats a.k.a spare tyre. One moment I was sad thinking my hubby has neglected me after a month of our wedding, at another moment worried dunno for whatever reason and happy at another moment.....why the mixed feelings..I dont know. Went back home to Spore to find out that I was pregnant! No wonder the mood swing. Something pleasant was growing inside me....and that was you Mustaqim. Remembered how delighted ayah looked and emak....she didnt say a word but I know how she felt. She is not a very expressive person at times. My mom in law was there and she said she suppected I was pregnant. I remembered too that Helmi congratulated Dee. Helmi himself was delirious coz his wife was also pregnant. So two babies were on the way. Hmm...a blessings from Allah for the whole family. Well Mustaqim, I have a fair bit of sins I have done in the past. If Allah permits, I would not want you to go thru the sins that I did. I don't know if Allah has accepted and forgive all that I have done. It is not easy, my dear son, to have your sins be trashed away. So please please, look around you and if it is not going to benefit you dunia akhirat, then dont do it! Susah nanti. I have a new lesson to learn today. I have a superior that I report to, who wants the team to be persistant in selling our products(I am in IT company). He said that he heard someone sitting opposite me(from different team and department) and said that her selling skills are good. I agree that she is good but you can't compare this team with her. Firstly, she is doing telemarketing and secondly she has all the materials solid ones...that is why she is confident! I am not trying to argue abt this issue but in order to make comparison, u have to compare equally. Okay we are not as motivated as she is but who is? The country we are supporting didnt even help to feed info and just advertise the product as and when they wish. And when customers ask, then only they will give us the info and it is not a complete info. And my superior, he himself didnt show good example as a leader. Surf the internet that has got nothing to do with work, do personal outbound calls during office hours....and the lists goes on and on. At the end of the day when the manager reprimand why the team did not perform, he will press the emergency button and tell us to pull up our socks! I told him, why not one day he try to answer the phone as an agent on a trial basis and see where we fall short. When he has a hand-on experience, then only he can filter the problems we are facing and makes him a better critic. Right? Ok I feel better now after writing this. Mustaqim, now is 1151h. I have 9hours to go before I come home to meet you. I wonder what and how you are doing.

I am back.......

Hi there, Hehehehehehehe I am back after so many weeks! Thanks to my 'young mentor' who gave me idea to write a journal for the reading pleasure for my son. So someday, he will remeber that his mom wrote something nice for him to read. Yelah mana tau....nyawa di tangan Allah.....if it is not that, one day if ever he gets angry at me or upset, he can read this journal and know how much I love him. So Mustaqim Mulyadi Ihsan bin Mansor, I dedicate this journal to you. Hopefully one day you grow up and have a wonderful time going thru my journal and make every milestone I experienced a lesson to learn ok. Umi loves you so very deeply no words cud describe. I am overwhelmed when you came and joined Abi and me and that makes us three. :)