Thank You for Everything

It's been a while I didnt blog and kinda of miss it. Where do I start eh?

 

How long have I been unwell? Quite sometime already I suppose. Started off with a bad bad cough then the intermittent bouts of fever. Then the drastic drop of blood plateletts till doctor suspected it was dengue. I was panicky for a while and cried twice. Not becoz of the dengue but I was worried for the baby that is growing inside me. I feel that I am not doing my best for the little one inside. Mom coaxed me and told me to take it as part and parcel of pregnancy. Perhaps this was my first time having this problem coz my first pregnancy was a breeze. I was caught offguard. My family came on Wednesday(31st Aug) coz I knew mom was super worried. To make me happy, my hubby brought the whole family for a satay kajang(walah.....I managed to get it near my place) treat but my appetite dipped big time. I had abt 4 sticks and that was it for the whole day. I always have very good appetite but I dun know why so this time. Mom asked what I would like to eat the next day, but i just didnt have any clue. She made chicken soup, sambal tumis(this has been my fave), ikan siakap tiga rasa, urap and ubi rebus. But all I ate was the ubi rebus and sambal tumis. 

 

2nd Sept, I went for my prenatal check up. Dr Syaifuddin checked all the records and checked my blood pressure. Low blood pressure. I am used to hearing that lah, anyway. Then checked my weight. I am naturally on the heavy side but doctor is worried coz everytime I came for my prenatal check up, my weight seemed to go down. How I wish this happen when I am not pregnant. But he said in total I have lost 2.5kg in a month. Perhaps becoz I was sick lah the other time. He wants me to consume more dairy products esp milk, vege, fruits. Then he scaned the baby. He gave me this worried look on his face. I asked if the baby is alright. He said heartbeat ok, but the size is too small got 5months. The position is breeched. Hence we cant see the gender. I am in my 22weeks but the baby looks like a 17weeks old baby. Now doctor wants me to have more rest and to be in a stress free environment. I was supposed to attend a wkend training but dr insist I shud rest. I feel bad lah but my main concern is the baby. In a months time Dr wants to see improvement on the baby's growth. Otherwise, more investigations and that means admission! No admission lah I hope. Cannot afford the time lah and my son needs me. But I leave it in Allah's hands. Redha with the hurdle I am facing now.

 

Why am I stressed? Frankly, I hate the team I am working for now. I am not happy with this particular fella in the team. Tabur fitnah! I know she wants me out of this team and guess what, I want to be out too. I already asked for a transfer for 2 damn years but mgmt just put on deaf ears. Language is another main problem. I was born and raised in Spore. English is the 1st language; not even my mother toungue. But I am asked to support Indonesian team and speak their business language. I agreed initially becoz then after being retrenched, I desperately need a job, so I agreed. The agency even promised me that after a year, I can ask for a transfer. But now, after 3 years in the Indonesian team, I am never considered to move to another team I requested for. My boss asked me what happened to my sales fugure? I told her it is the language barrier of coz! I supported Spore team on adhog basis and was recognised twice coz I hit the sales target and had passion in it. Didnt they realise that? They gv me the recognition but they failed to realise I need a breather. I have had enuf of all these excuses. The reason they gave was there's no one to replace me. Oh yeah....gimme that excuse and they think I could buy that? Ridiculous reasoning. I need a job for the next 2-3years and that is why I am still here. I am on a permit basis and that's why I am still in this company. Given a choice, I'd rather quit and get myself another job placement.....So having said that, anyone who know of a job vacancy lemme know la :)

 

Oh yes, for all those who has been so caring to know how am I doing, thanks for the kind concern....thanks for everything.